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The current period marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” entered the mainstream. At the time, the idea that someone could instantly end contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more perplexing – an frequently pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reaction is interested or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie excess, it describes couples who choose against parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks suggesting a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions validate your choice to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately kill any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful gesture.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {